Finding my sparkle again…
2019 has been a funny old year. The funny of the peculiar kind rather than the ‘ha ha’ kind. It certainly hasn’t been one of my favourite years to date, but that’s okay. After all, 2020 is right around the corner. And boy, am I glad about that.
The reasons why 2019 has, for lack of better words, sucked, are many. After what seemed like a neverending tirade of problems scattered across my life in general followed by a gruelling five-month unrelenting illness, I was finally diagnosed with a lifelong chronic illness. On one hand, it was a huge relief – I was beginning to think I was slowly going crazy lost in a sea of weird symptoms without answers – some weeks not even leaving my bed. But on the other hand, it was affirming what I already knew deep down: that something was unfixably wrong.
When I say ‘unfixably’, I don’t mean that I’m about to peace out any time soon. There’s life left in me yet even if it does take me a good 15 minutes to make a decent cuppa at times. I just mean there is no known road to absolute recovery. The saving grace? With a lot of time management and strict self-care, things can sometimes feel a little easier.
And things have sometimes felt easier. Maybe not for hours or even days on end, but progress is progress. I’m one of the lucky ones after all – I’m still working, I’m still smiling, heck, I’m still living!
I don’t feel quite ready to delve into the depths of this said chronic illness just yet, but I promise that one day I will. I would love to share my experience in the hope that one day it might help another person. A person just like me who felt desperately alone and needed answers or at least some sort of hope to cling to.
So, why bother mentioning it at all if I won’t spill the whole story? Because, my darling reader, for the first time in months I actually have the passion to sit down and write.
You see, for many months now I’ve been feeling a little lost when it comes to my social media. Sure, you’ll have seen videos and posts popping up, but my creative side just hasn’t been there. I didn’t have the energy to sit and write about my favourite new moisturiser the way I used to. I’d feel the excitement (briefly) and want to share my thoughts, but putting my finger to the key was hard. Unbelievable for a trained writer, right? I just felt so much lethargy that even the thought of organising my paragraphs felt exhausting. But, for the last couple of days, I’ve felt a small sense of refreshment throughout my brain. I’ve begun to read my books again, I’ve started swatching eyeshadows, and, above all, I’ve felt a bit more positive about what’s to come. Namely, 2020.
From this point onwards, you can expect to see the content on this blog slowly changing. I can’t wait to share my beauty treasures with you along with a sprinkling of fashion and lifestyle posts wherever I so wish. I’m opening my mind and my heart to new opportunities and new experiences and I cannot wait to see just what’s in store.
So, I guess what this post is all about is simply my way to check in with you all and to tell you this: I’m back! Now, where’s my flat white?